B.Y.O.B

A friend of mine mistakenly sent me an SMS on a Thursday night, "Dude, where's the party later? Are you going?"

Minutes later followed by, "can you bring some drinks?"

I looked down at my pink pajamas (the one with the big bunnies on them that Charly likes) and laughed to myself.

I texted my friend back, "is this BYOB?"

"Yup" was the quick SMS reply.

I promptly texted back, "Charly says the only bottles she has are filled with infant formula...sorry dude, the only parties we go to these days are kids' parties and it's way past our bedtime".

Of course my friend quickly realized that he had gotten the numbers in his phone book mixed up and we had a good laugh over it.

Which brings me to another realization of just how much my life has changed.  Just barely 3 years ago, all it took was a couple of impromptu text messages and me and my friends had a quick get-together or bar hop.

Nowadays, despite a number of exclusive invites to private parties at Embassy or Nuvo, the hubby and I have stayed at home or at most, out to dinner at our favorite restaurants. I mean we do meet up with friends, have them over at our place, do brunch with my folks but they are mostly quiet, peaceful get-togethers where we actually catch up as opposed to just hanging out. 

To put it bluntly, these days, I would rather be clubbed than go clubbing.  Okay, so I can't use being a mommy as an excuse for my reluctance to stand in smoky bars, getting more than my share of second-hand smoke while I spend enough money on drinks that would have covered a month's worth of Gymboree playtime for Charly. Or hanging around while ridiculously skinny young things in unwearable clothes go traipsing about acting as if they know everything. What they don't know is that in less than a decade, they will soon be standing in the supermarket aisle seriously debating with themselves, their husbands or their friends about the merits of toilet cleaners and kitchen aids. You just see if I'm wrong.

But I digress.

Whereas I used to sit and let time pass by while introspecting with friends -or at times, really just because I didn't feel like going home yet - I now look at time as something I have to make full use of. When you're a work-at-home mom who tries to be as hands-on as she can, you don't have the luxury to just hang around. Much less have time to waste.  Especially not in dark places where you really don't know what the point of things are since you can't even have a conversation for the loud music. I gues what Im saying is that if I'm going to be doing nothing, it better well be in a spa where I get pampered. After all, doing nothing doesn't happen too often

Oh, I don't mean that David and I have gotten boring. Well, maybe to our single friends we have. Actually, we probably pursue more meaningful interests and activities these days. We still enjoy a good round of drinks with friends, but it now comes with conversations that matter as opposed to empty talk. 

I also think it has less to do with Charly and more to do with feeling more content and stable and centered. After all, even before she came around, when it was just David and me, I already quite enjoyed staying at home.  The main difference is that we used to wake up on a Saturday and think "Cool, it's still early, let's walk over to the Salcedo Street Market and see if we can get some fresh bread and then sleep some more."

These days, we think "Great, it's still early, Charly seems to be in a good mood. We can get in an hour of playtime and maybe do some food shopping and laundry before it's time for her nap".

Some people may say its because we are getting older.

I like to think of it as a shift in priorities.